


A Wonderful Life It Is

by danke_rose



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Minor Angst, Other characters in minor roles - Freeform, always kurtty, fluff at the end, lots of alternate timeline relationships and deaths, someone cheats in an alternate timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21672700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danke_rose/pseuds/danke_rose
Summary: Kurt considers leaving the X-Men, and is visited by an alternate version of himself sent by Roma to change his mind.
Relationships: Kitty Pryde/Kurt Wagner
Comments: 9
Kudos: 8





	A Wonderful Life It Is

**Author's Note:**

> I saw something on Tumblr suggesting people should write some It's A Wonderful Life AUs, and I thought I'd give it a shot. This is not as extensively edited as most of my stuff, so please forgive any weird errors you may find. I'll fix stuff if I notice it. I wanted to get it up quickly since holidays are upon us before we know it and it's a busy time of year.  
> As usual, this is an eventual kurtty story.  
> As Kurt sees possible alternate timelines, there are some bad relationships, a little violence (nothing graphic), and some deaths. None of the deaths are permanent, and this has a happy ending. I like happy endings. :-)

Another failed mission. The fourth in a week. Kurt stared at the ceiling wondering if he'd lost his edge.

“I should retire,” he muttered to himself as he rolled over and buried his face in his pillow, trying to sleep.

Every mistake repeated itself in his mind's eye. Every misjudged moment, every error, no matter how small, etched itself into his brain and taunted him. Sleep eluded him, and he got up, trying to erase the guilty thoughts and self-doubt that haunted him tonight and stole his peace.

The school was quiet when he got up, most of the residents sleeping. The Danger Room was shut down, but it took only moments to boot up and key in the program he wanted. He teleported into the room and pushed himself, only to fall again and again.

“Halt program,” he snapped and gave up, dropping to the floor to put his head in his hands.

He didn't know how long exactly he'd been sitting there when a noise caught his attention behind him. He was on his feet in an instant, facing a stranger, a man who seemed both familiar and not. Kurt squinted at him.

“ _Mein_ _Gott_...Gainsborough?” Kurt said, recognizing at last his own face in human form, without the blue fur and yellow eyes.

“Who?” said the man. He held out his hand to shake Kurt's, and Kurt noticed he had five fingers and no tail. “I'm Karl Turner.”

“How did you get in here?” Kurt said, bewildered and confused, looking around for an entrance as he scratched his head. Was he dreaming?

“I walked in,” said Karl. “I'm here at Roma's request, to help you with your struggles.”

“My...what's going on?” If Roma was involved, it couldn't be good. When had he last encountered her? It had to be Brian's and Meggan's wedding, but that was years ago. Excalibur had long since disbanded, and he couldn't imagine what possible use Roma would have with him.

“You see,” Karl continued as if Kurt had not said a thing, “I'm going to show you what life could be like if you left the X-Men. Isn't that what you've been considering?”

Kurt was silent. He _had_ been considering it. How did Roma know? “ _Ja_...among other things.”

Karl nodded. “If you'll come with me, I can change things for you.”

He had only this stranger's word for who he was and why he was here, but for reasons Kurt didn't bother to investigate, he followed the man. As they walked, seemingly through walls, as Kitty did, and across air, as Kitty did, Kurt wondered if the man was simply a mutant working for an enemy. They left the mansion and continued walking, until within the space of an eye-blink, they were elsewhere.

“Here we are,” said Karl. “My movie theater in Berlin. I'm manager here.”

Kurt looked up at the theater. Modest, in need of minor repairs, but otherwise it looked like any other movie theater. There was a short line of people waiting to buy tickets, but they seemed to not see either him or Karl.

“What does this have to do with me?” Kurt asked. One of the women in line turned her head and for a moment, he thought she was Kitty. Upon closer inspection, she wasn't, but it was odd. He shook his head and turned his attention back to Karl.

“It has a lot to do with you. I am you. I am you if you had been born a normal human, not a mutant, to normal human parents in Germany. I went to school, skipped college, and instead decided to pursue a job more in line with what I love—movies. So here I am.”

Kurt wasn't sure what to say to that. He couldn't imagine that he'd ever be satisfied with a job like this, dull and monotonous, the biggest excitement being films that glitched or unruly customers.

“What do you think?” Karl said. “I love it.” The man gazed at the theater with love and devotion in his eyes.

“Don't you have a family?” Kurt said.

“Oh no. No time for family. I date a little now and then, but mostly I am devoted to my movies.”

“Oh.”

“But where were we? Yes, we're here for you, not me. _I_ am content and you are not.”

“I wouldn't say that exactly...” but Kurt knew Karl was right. He was no longer content. The daily grind of fighting losing battles was finally wearing on him. He wanted what he could not have. His spirit was faltering and he couldn't see a way out of it, other than change.

“This is the world as it would exist if you had never joined the X-Men. With little difference, things would be as they are for me. You, however, would still be performing in the circus, though the crowds are smaller now.”

“I never left? Not even...Florida?”

“You never left. Why would you? You were happy in the circus. You and Stefan and Jimaine are still performing and working there.”

“Stefan?” Kurt's heart leaped. “He's alive?”

“Yes, very much. You were there when things got tricky for him, and you were able to help him through his dark times. Whatever might have happened with all those little dead children never did. And you were never chased by an angry mob in Winzeldorf. Quite the contrary, the residents love you and your family. When you and Jimaine married, they—”

“Wait—what did you say?”

“You married Jimaine. Have you not always wanted that?”

Kurt rubbed his chin. There had been a time he thought he wanted that, but his heart had changed. “Perhaps once upon a time I did, but now—”

“Moving right along then. You are welcomed in the village, and your children play with the village children when the circus is in town.”

Kurt wasn't sure if he felt sick or dizzy or what. It was an odd sensation. Another eye-blink and he and Karl were in Winzeldorf. It was exactly as he described it. Young children were playing in the fountain—the very one near which he'd accidentally killed Stefan. There were three blue children, scampering around and laughing. Down a side street, a woman approached. She was slim and blond and he recognized his foster sister as she called to her children. She didn't smile, though, and he watched as she swatted one of the children and chastised the rest. Her voice was harsh and staccato, bouncing off the buildings as she scolded them for playing when there was work to be done.

Karl shrugged. “We can't have it all, can we?”

“I don't need to see any more of this, Karl. What of the X-Men? My friends, are they well?”

Karl said, “Let us see.”

They appeared in the foyer of the Xavier school at midday. A small group huddled in a corner, whispering, and Karl drew closer, Kurt following. As before, no one seemed to see or hear them. “Is this how Ebenezer Scrooge felt, I wonder?” Kurt said as he and Karl stopped just outside the circle of friends. He recognized most of them. Bobby, Marrow, Betsy Braddock.

“He just killed all those people,” Bobby said. A man Kurt didn't recognize put a hand on Bobby's shoulder.

“The professor is trying to track him. He put together a team to go after him, too, but...” Bobby put his head on the man's shoulder.

“Poor Wolfsbane,” Betsy said. “She didn't deserve to die like that. Not by the hand of one of our own.”

“Who killed her?” Kurt demanded, but of course these people could not hear him. He grabbed Karl and turned him. “Who?”

“Wolverine.”

Kurt stepped back apace in shock. “No! No, he wouldn't...”

“He would. Without the constant companionship of someone calm and caring to ground him, without the support of a best friend, of _you_ , he was never able to control his violent side and eventually gave in. In a berserker rage, he killed a group of anti-mutant protesters and then ran. Rahne tried to stop him, and he killed her, too.”

Kurt staggered back, shock and sorrow and sleeplessness making him weak. “ _Mein_ _Gott_...”

“Never fear,” said Karl cheerfully, “Some of your other friends are well. Would you like to see them?”

Kurt nodded, and the scenery shifted again. Africa, by the looks of it, and there was Ororo. She was walking down the street with a basket of groceries, tall and regal as always. Kurt began to notice the way people avoided her, parting around her to let her pass. At first he thought they'd accepted her back as a goddess, and were showing her respect. Then someone spit at her feet.

“Go back to America, you lousy traitor!” the man yelled. Ororo pretended not to hear, but her eyes looked heavy and sad.

“They hate her,” Karl said. “She left them behind to go with Xavier, and when she was too homesick to stay with the team, she returned to find they had no use for a goddess who turns her back on her people. At least, that was how they saw things.”

“Why does she stay?” Kurt said.

“Where else would she go? She doesn't want to be in America. She doesn't want to fight, she believes in peace. But her home is no longer her home, and she is lost.”

“Why didn't she stay? She should have just stayed.”

“You were not there to give her a reason to stay. The attic room was never converted into a garden, no one vowed to be her friend through good times and bad. She was lonely and homesick.”

“You said my friends were _well_ ,” Kurt growled. “This is far from it!”

“My mistake,” Karl said. “I meant they were _alive_.”

“Who is dead?”

“You want a list?”

Kurt's hand shook as he tried to make a fist.

“I don't want to see this,” Kurt said, crouching and hiding his face.

“Perhaps this will cheer you,” Karl said. “Here is your friend Kitty Pryde-Rasputin.”

Kurt stood up, heart hammering again. “Where?”

“Right there.” Karl pointed to a woman in a suit, hurrying down a Chicago street with a bag bursting with papers. A computer cord dangled out the top and she was on the phone.

“No, I can't get to it today. Tell Mike it'll just have to wait. No, I _can't_ go back to the office right now, I have to take my kid to a play at school. Dammit, Jen, I said _no_.” She hung up. The phone rang almost immediately.

“What?” she said. “I know Piotr, I'm on my way there now. No, I can't hurry up. Well they'll just have to wait!” Again she hung up.

“Bad day, I guess,” Karl said with a shrug. Kurt scowled as they followed Kitty through the crowded streets to the train.

She fell into a seat, and shoved the loose papers and cord into her bag more securely, zipping it the rest of the way. She stared out the window of the train, seeing nothing. Kurt and Karl stood invisible beside her. The seat was empty, and Kurt sat down.

“She works in Chicago?” Kurt said to Karl.

“Yes, a computer programmer at one of the largest firms. She and Piotr have two children, but she does most of the raising. He is an artist and spends most of his time in his studio.”

“She left the X-Men?”

Karl nodded. “When the Marauders attacked, she was transferred to Muir as before. But she was alone. Gatecrasher came looking for Rachel, and not finding her, she took Kitty and Meggan hostage. No one was there to go looking for them, and when Gatecrasher's Technet caught Rachel, they made an exchange with the Warwolves. Kitty and Meggan for Rachel. So Mojo was pleased, two for one, after all. Kitty and Meggan were trapped there for years before they escaped.

When they came back to a world where the X-Men hadn't died at all, they were hurt and angry. Kitty would not speak to any of them, except Piotr. When she got pregnant, they married, and moved back to Chicago.

“What of Meggan?”

“She and Brian never married. She returned to the forests and no one has seen her in years.”

They had reached Kitty's stop, and followed her off the train. She walked briskly, shoving past people until she was on the street. A few blocks down, she went into a small house, and from without, Kurt could hear the sound of children yelling.

“Dad _what_?” Kitty said.

They were inside Kitty's house now. Kurt might have been disoriented by all the quick changes in scenery if not for being used to it with teleporting. Still, he sat down on a chair, heedless of the toys scattered over it. A boy was screaming at another boy about breaking something.

“Stop it!” Kitty yelled, putting a hand to her head. “Piotr, what the hell is going on?”

“Nikolai broke Aleksander's truck, so I punished him.”

“Nick says you—dammit, Piotr, where are you?” Kitty stalked off, and from another room, the yelling continued. The two boys, left alone, glared at one another, and then ran upstairs.

Kitty returned, flinging tears off her cheek as she called up the stairs. “Boys, we have to leave now. Aleks, you better have on your black pants and white shirt for this play!”

She sank onto the lower step, shoving toys out of the way and grumbling about Piotr not making the boys clean up. She wiped again at her cheeks and stood as the boys came tramping down the stairs.

“Why isn't Dad coming?” Aleks asked.

“He has a meeting with a client,” Kitty replied, tousling the boy's hair and forcing a smile for him. “I'll be there, though, and Nick.” She leaned down and kissed the top of the boy's head. He smiled and the three of them went out the door.

Karl remained where they were after Kitty and the boys left, and Kurt shook his head. “All of this...because I never joined the X-Men?” he said quietly. “It's fascinating, but I've no intention of going back in time, Karl.”

“We aren't done yet.”

From the back came Piotr's voice, probably on the phone. “Yes, yes, they are gone.”

Not three minutes later, the doorbell rang, and Piotr answered it. A very pretty woman stood there with a briefcase in her hand. “Hello, Mr. Rasputin. You have new artwork to be appraised?”

“ _Da_ , come in, Ms. Wynne. It is in the back.”

When Piotr shut the door, she dropped her briefcase and threw herself at Piotr. He embraced her, kissing her passionately, and hiking her skirt up over her backside.

Kurt leaped up. “We're leaving,” he said, and they were back in Berlin, in the theater.

“I don't know why Roma would want me to see all of that,” Kurt said. “What possible reason could she have?” He tried to ignore the ache in his chest.

“She wants to help you decide. Are you not thinking of leaving the team?”

“Yes, but not thirty years ago!”

“It is all about perspective,” Karl said. “Here we go. This is the possible future, if you left today.”

They were back at the school. Things seemed the same, his friends wandered the grounds, new mutants ran in and out the front doors. They went inside, and Karl led him down a hall and out the back door. They crossed the lawn to the memorial garden.

“Why are we here?” Kurt demanded. “Who is dead?”

“See for yourself.”

Kurt looked at the headstones lined up. There were old ones, irrelevant now that those friends had come back. He pushed aside the feeling of disbelief that always hit him when he saw Jean's memorial, or Xavier's. He spotted two new ones and crouched in front of them. “Piotr and Kitty?” He looked at Karl. “How?”

“There was a battle. She didn't see the beam, didn't phase in time. It hit her in the head and killed her instantly. Piotr was supposed to be her partner, but he was distracted. Wolverine was angry. Piotr didn't try to defend himself when he attacked, and Piotr was killed. Wolverine left and last they heard he's in the Canadian wilderness, alone.”

“This is a guilt trip,” Kurt said. “That is what Kitty calls it. You and Roma are trying to manipulate me into staying by placing blame on me for future events.”

“If you say so.”

Kurt stood up and started to walk away, where to, he didn't know. He was halted by the sight of himself coming through the garden. He jerked his head around and watched as his future self, no longer in uniform, but dressed in baggy clothes to hide his form and face, approached the graves. He crumpled at the base of Kitty's headstone and cried.

Kurt couldn't move as he watched himself crying at the grave, his eyes tearing up in spite of himself.

“In this future, you left without plans or a destination in mind. You simply left, and upon returning to Germany, found it as cold and lonely as it was when you left. You tried a few different lines of work, none of which panned out, and eventually you returned to America. Life in the freak show is no more pleasant now than you remember it, but at least it pays the bills.”

“ _Was_? I would never return to that!”

“You had no choice. It was that or be homeless and susceptible to the new mutant policies. Useless mutants are rounded up for government work.”

Kurt looked again at the version of himself bent double over Kitty's grave, and listened to the words tumbling out between sobs. Words of regret and sorrow and vows to be a better man.

Karl looked at Kurt then and as the world around them faded, Karl said, “She already thinks you are a good man.”

Kurt jerked upright at the sound of the doors opening behind him.

“Kurt?” Kitty's voice rang out across the huge space of the Danger Room.

“ _Ja_?” he said, heart slamming in his chest as he reeled from whatever dream that had been. He tried to stand but his knees gave out.

Kitty dropped down beside him. “Hey, are you okay? Did you fall?”

He put his arms around her and pulled her close.

“I'm all right, Kätzchen. Some strange dream...I haven't been able to sleep.”

She stroked the back of his head as he leaned against her. “I looked for you last night. Where'd you go?”

“To bed.”

She chuckled lightly. “You sleep in the Danger Room now?”

“Apparently,” he said and let her go. She grabbed his hand, then turned his face to hers, fingers on his cheek as she looked into his eyes.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“ _Nein_ , it was just...a dream. A dream of life without me in it.”

“God, Kurt, that's awful.”

“It was.”

“I'd hate it if you weren't around,” she said. “Before, when you were...when you were dead before, things weren't good. The team wasn't good.” She rubbed her thumb along the knuckles of the hand she was holding. “You aren't thinking of leaving, are you?”

She always knew. Sometimes he wondered if she wasn't half psychic. “I was.”

She was quiet for a while, rubbing his hand and staring as she pushed the short fur one way and then the other. “Are you going to leave?” she said, her voice barely audible in the huge, empty room.

“No.”

“Because of the dream?”

“No. Yes. Partly,” he said, stumbling over thoughts that hadn't fully sorted themselves out. “More because of you.”

“Me?”

He made himself look at her. “What do you think of me?”

She screwed up her face. “You're one of my best friends, Kurt.”

“ _Ja_ , but what kind of person?”

She smiled warmly and squeezed his hand. “You're a good man, Kurt. The best.”

He pulled his knees up to his chest and pressed the soles of his feet together. Kitty shifted beside him, willing to wait with him until he was himself again. She was that kind of friend.

“Would you still think that if I told you how much I love you?”

She blinked in surprise, but didn't move away. “Why would love make me think less of you?”

He pressed his hand against his eyes, fatigue and confusion making it hard to think straight. He shouldn't be having this conversation right now. He felt her breath at his ear and she put a hand on his cheek.

“Besides, I love you too.” She kissed him, just in front of his ear, and he couldn't think of anything to say.

Kitty stood up and took both of his hands in hers. “You don't look so good, Kurt. Come on, you need some sleep.”

He let her haul him up, let her put his arm around her shoulder, let her lead him out of the Danger Room, shutting it down by voice as they went. She phased them through his door, not bothering to open it, and dropped him onto his bed.

“Go on, lie down.”

“You don't have to tell me—”

She put a hand on her hip and pointed at the bed. He scrambled onto it and got under the covers.

“I tried to sleep all night. I couldn't get the mission out of my head.” She sat down on the edge of the bed.

“That's silly, Kurt. They caught the guy, it's over.”

“We failed, though, Kätzchen, so much of it failed...”

She laughed. “But we won. You need a vacation or something, Kurt. You didn't even come out with us to celebrate. I kept thinking you'd show up. I missed you.”

Kurt yawned. “I'm sorry.”

“It's okay.”

She got up to leave, and he caught her hand. “Would you stay, just a few more minutes?”

She laid down beside him and put her arm over him. “I'll stay as long as you want.”

His eyes already drifted closed, and he nodded, the scent of her wafting around him as she rubbed his back.

Kurt woke with a start, the dream mingling with memories. Kitty's eyes were closed and from the soft sound of her breathing, she was asleep. He put his head on the pillow again, and studied her face. She looked so peaceful and relaxed. The everyday cares melted away as she slept, and she was momentarily only a woman, rather than a strong determined leader of a team of X-Men.

“Hey,” she said when she woke up, before she opened her eyes.

He reached up and touched her cheek. “You are so beautiful.”

Kitty flushed and laughed self-consciously. “I bet you say that to all the women who wake up next to you.”

“No. I don't.”

She started to reply, but closed her mouth when she couldn't think of anything to say. He leaned closer and she met his lips with hers, kissing him until she was breathless.

“So,” she said as he curled his fingers in her hair. “Are you still thinking about leaving?”

“No.”

She grinned. “Good.” She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. “I think we missed lunch, but I'm starving.”

Kurt crawled out from beneath the covers and took her hand, not caring that he was still in his pajamas in the middle of the afternoon. Whatever the dream or reality had been, whatever Roma had intended with Karl and those alternate timelines, it had given him the courage to admit something he thought he never could. And now, Kitty was walking with his hand in hers, leaning into him as she talked. She thought he was a good man.

“You know what?” I think I'll take that vacation,” he said as Kitty looked up at him with love and devotion, “Where should we go?”

On Otherworld, Roma smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Turner is gymnast in German. Karl was just a four letter German man's name that started with K.  
> Gainsborough is the name of a human doppelganger of Kurt in one of the dimensions he and Excalibur explore.  
> If you aren't familiar, Roma is the Guardian of the Multiverse and the daughter of Merlyn. She manipulated Excalibur for years before Captain Britain (Brian Braddock) confronted her about it and she agreed to stop.


End file.
